When all is said and done
Will we still feel pain inside?
Will the scars go away with night?
Try to smile for the morning light
It's like the best dream to have
Where everything is not so bad
Every tear is so alone
Like God himself is coming home
To say I
I can do anything, If you want me here
And I can fix anything, If you'll let me near
Where are those secrets now
That you're too scared to tell
I whisper them all aloud
So you can hear yourself
Green trees were the first sign
The deepest blue, the clearest sky
The silence came with brightest eyes
Like turning water into wine
The children ran to see
Their parents stood in disbelief
And those who knew braced for the ride
The Earth itself then came alive
To say I,
I can do anything, If you want me here
And I can fix anything, If you'll let me near
Where are those secrets now
That you're too scared to tell
I whisper them all aloud
So you can hear yourself
I'm sorry I have to say it but you look like you're sad
Your smile is gone, I noticed it bad
The cure is if you let in just a little more love
I promise you this, a little's enough..
Peace.
Sunday, 5 July 2009
Saturday, 30 May 2009
It's a date!
Okay, okay, okay, i have to admit it, i've been a right
(hermit) recently and don't think i've enjoyed it 'cause i haven't!
I want to be a social
(butterly) again, before people start forgetting who i am haha! :P
So, this is an open invitation to all of my friends, lets make plans over the summer yeah? Make it one to remember, for all the right reasons :)
Peace.
(hermit) recently and don't think i've enjoyed it 'cause i haven't!
I want to be a social
(butterly) again, before people start forgetting who i am haha! :P
So, this is an open invitation to all of my friends, lets make plans over the summer yeah? Make it one to remember, for all the right reasons :)
Peace.
Alcoholism
"...also known as alcohol dependence and alcohol addiction. It is a brain disease characterized by compulsive seeking and use of alcohol".
- Personally, i think that's what most people disregard concerning alcoholism, the fact that it is NOT simply a case of drinking too much or that the person does it through choice - it is primarily a mental illness.
My dad once told me, to describe alcoholism you have to put your own two hands round your neck, and choke yourself until all you can think about is catching another breath, that, he says, is what it is constantly like for an alcoholic craving alcohol.
I think that is why i still bother, the reason why i am still persistently trying to help her.
Although she has repeatedly thrown it back in my face and turned my world upside down over the past 7 years (and before), i still found myself this morning, trying to track her down to see if she's okay.
The hardest thing is trying not to be bitter; trying not to scream at her for how much she's broken my heart; ask her why it is so hard to stay sober long enough to phone me, to let me know she's alive for Christ's sake. Alas, i am somewhat controlled in biting my tongue, trying to be supportive yet firm, as her mental deterioration means it is similar to trying to get a child to put down their toys and eat their dinner, hissy fit included.
How can you convince someone its the right thing to do when they have convinced themselves its not?
How can i show her how much she's throwing her life away when she's living in her own warped reality?
How many people will it take to shock her into soberiety?
How many times can i take her letting me down...
You know, it's funny, even the nurse of the phone was like "this is so much for you to deal with at such a young age" and of course, i'm aware of this, but i'm fine, about as fine as i could be. To be fair, i'm struggling financially, but it's nothing i can't deal with myself, with the help of the job center haha.
People also say, you need a mother, she should be looking after you, not the other way round, but anyone who knows me, knows i moved out at 16 and i wouldn't change it, because it gave me the kick up the backside i needed, i was pushed into the real world prematurely and now i have a head start to dealing with it all. Rather sooner than later i say.
I might not have a lush flat, or tons of money to do shit with, but i'm still happy, it certainly makes me appreciate everything, and my cat is definitely better fed than me :p but it's a roof over my head, MY roof, my rules, my own wee accomplishment right? Yeah, it's a shit location, but it beats the hell out of living with an alcoholic.
So come Monday, i'll be heading out to try and get her and take her to the doctors, see what can be done if she's willing to cooperate. Even she wonders why i bother, and i told her on the phone - because there's an invisible tie between us that means i will always love her and need to know she's okay, no matter what she does or who she becomes. But as with everything is life, ties can weaken, and she's a grown woman, there's only so much i can do before it starts affecting my life, and that, is where i draw the line.
Peace.
- Personally, i think that's what most people disregard concerning alcoholism, the fact that it is NOT simply a case of drinking too much or that the person does it through choice - it is primarily a mental illness.
My dad once told me, to describe alcoholism you have to put your own two hands round your neck, and choke yourself until all you can think about is catching another breath, that, he says, is what it is constantly like for an alcoholic craving alcohol.
I think that is why i still bother, the reason why i am still persistently trying to help her.
Although she has repeatedly thrown it back in my face and turned my world upside down over the past 7 years (and before), i still found myself this morning, trying to track her down to see if she's okay.
The hardest thing is trying not to be bitter; trying not to scream at her for how much she's broken my heart; ask her why it is so hard to stay sober long enough to phone me, to let me know she's alive for Christ's sake. Alas, i am somewhat controlled in biting my tongue, trying to be supportive yet firm, as her mental deterioration means it is similar to trying to get a child to put down their toys and eat their dinner, hissy fit included.
How can you convince someone its the right thing to do when they have convinced themselves its not?
How can i show her how much she's throwing her life away when she's living in her own warped reality?
How many people will it take to shock her into soberiety?
How many times can i take her letting me down...
You know, it's funny, even the nurse of the phone was like "this is so much for you to deal with at such a young age" and of course, i'm aware of this, but i'm fine, about as fine as i could be. To be fair, i'm struggling financially, but it's nothing i can't deal with myself, with the help of the job center haha.
People also say, you need a mother, she should be looking after you, not the other way round, but anyone who knows me, knows i moved out at 16 and i wouldn't change it, because it gave me the kick up the backside i needed, i was pushed into the real world prematurely and now i have a head start to dealing with it all. Rather sooner than later i say.
I might not have a lush flat, or tons of money to do shit with, but i'm still happy, it certainly makes me appreciate everything, and my cat is definitely better fed than me :p but it's a roof over my head, MY roof, my rules, my own wee accomplishment right? Yeah, it's a shit location, but it beats the hell out of living with an alcoholic.
So come Monday, i'll be heading out to try and get her and take her to the doctors, see what can be done if she's willing to cooperate. Even she wonders why i bother, and i told her on the phone - because there's an invisible tie between us that means i will always love her and need to know she's okay, no matter what she does or who she becomes. But as with everything is life, ties can weaken, and she's a grown woman, there's only so much i can do before it starts affecting my life, and that, is where i draw the line.
Peace.
Tuesday, 26 May 2009
Post-Exam
last one was today, so technically that means, MY SUMMER HAS BEGUN :D
...just picture me doing some sort of celebratory dance haha! funky chicken perhaps?
So May, what's been going on?
Uuuum, not a great deal, it's officially been "stick your head in a textbook" month, so yeah you get the jist, studying, studying and oh yeah studying!
There's a few things i can remember, liiike when Megan came to stay and we watched Twilight (she's now officially hooked) and made puppy chow (a mixture consisting of shreddies, peanut butter, melted galaxy and icing sugar) .. NOT the greatest munch alive, and singing "IT'S BUSINESS, IT'S BUSINESS TIME" in bed at like half 1 in the morning haha :)
& Every Time I Die @ ABC, that was pretty smashing, Gallows were surprisingly good, they ought to be endorsed by Heinz or something, skinny fucks, but they put on a good show! aaand i got to see Dale so that was even better :D, i miss going to gigs all the time, next gig issss Taking BackSunday i think, who's going? My boyfriend has rekindled my love for Adam Lazarra <3
Alsooo there was Ali's 20th at Classic Grand, and i have to say, 4th time lucky was definitely lucky, i actually enjoyed myself, even got on the dancefloor for some Enter Shikarrriii, the boys had the moves! But due to being ill (aye, AGAIN) was on antibiotics and couldn't drink, garbage i tell ye.
& Charmaine's 21st at Hamilton Accies, got far too sloshed (i blame my boyfriend for buying me drinks all night) and the highlight of my night was ATTEMPTING to jumpstyle to scooter with Caly & Catt and clean out decking it, then going home, spewing bright purple and going up to Luuu's to recooperate, talk shite for hours and get the best roll 'n' sausage ever out the tabac, love that lassie!
Speaking of being ill, been stupidly ill the past few weeks,feeling sick and headaches etc etc, it's only really just gave it a by, haven't felt sick for a few days but i've had to change my diet, pasta and bread that's about it really, i'm WELL treating myself tonight to a takeaway of sorts though! Perhaps a Chinese? orrr A bigga pizza pie?
Aye, so, today, went to opticians 'cause obviously my eyesight may have been the cause of my headaches, and it turns out it is, my left eyes got considerably worse (basically everythings a total blur out of it) and the optician goes "Yeah, eh, i think you need to wear your glasses a lot more, preferably all the time" EH WHIT, no way am i being a full-time specky :(, no offence to full time speckies, i'm just no' intae it, ken yon wiy?
Ehhh, so overview of exams is probably appropriate considering the title of this here blog, first one was average, second one was okay, third was well good and fourth was average, hmm, fingers crossed for passes! :)
"Life asks of you what it thinks you can handle"
I think that's true, i should have more faith in myself and what i'm capable of coping with, i don't give myself enough credit i reckon. i learn a lesson from everything i go through, and i'll keep saying it but every cloud honestly does have a silver lining, somewhere.
Looking forward to having a fully functioning social life again, it was the worst feeling in the world having to cancel to study, having to put things on hold and not spend time with my pally wals, but now i can, so yay, just some more $$$ wouldn't go a miss ya know?
Don't get me wrong, i can't complain about staying in 90% of the time, 'cause a) i did study more and b) i really enjoy spending time with my lovely boyfriend, he's put up with me so much the past couple weeks, my mood swings have been something fucking else and being a depressed-bunny hasn't helped either - note to self, never bottle things up!
but the negatives have been pants too, too much alone time means i think too much means i can't concentrate to study and meant i was really lonely and dug myself into a wee hole, hopefully i'm climb out of it soon, i hate being this low about things and i don't want to pull everyone close to me down with me.
Trying to think of things that are interesting to talk about... hmm... fed up with my hair colour/cut/EVERYTHING, definitely going blonde, i didn't come this far to go dark again, so back to my natural colour.. crikey, it's been a good while since i've been blonde.
Got a couple of ideas for body mods too, back on the idea of dermal anchors on my chest, just two, at either side, where my collarbones SHOULD be haha :p, or a dermal anchor on one of my fingers, thought that'd be cute, and i want my conch done too. it terms of tattoos i'm really liking the idea of caligraphy in white ink somewhere on me, not too noticeable, understated yet elegant oui? and i plan to get some form of symbol on the side of my finger, meaningful but ye canny really see it, sound good?
Constantly wavering on the idea of taking my bridge out, although the opticians assured me it is not and cannot ever give me a squint i'm less keen to part ways with it, i do love it so! A referendum amongst my friends is long over due haha!
Talking about referendum's, who's voting in the EU elections? or whatever it happens to be, such a good politics student i am, NAHT.
Most folk will know 'cause of my parents i've always kinna favoured Conservatives/Green, and we're working class! Never been a big fan of Labour, but then again that's more to do with current issues and student issues than anything else. Moreover, i'm totally pro-union, so fuck SNP, if you support independence you need to look into it a bit more! I got a flyer through about UKIP, i mean come on, do you honestly think its a good idea to cut ties with the EU when our economy is completely down the pan? It's fairly adequate to suggest the UK is independtly capable of regaining a secure economy without European funding. Hmm, i need to look more into this i reckon, just download the Conservative European Manifesto, but it's frying my brain, i've had enough of Politics for the day!
But, once i've made my mind up on who i'm voting for, i shall post a blog about it and tell you why i'm voting for them, who knows, i could end up voting Labour! :P
BUT MAKE SURE YOU GO OUT AND VOTE! Voter turnouts are unecessarily low, pisses me off, if you've got the right to vote and you know a bit about politics then use your vote to help change the country! You can't sit and moan about how shite the economy is, or if you're an old man in a pub, how much you "fucking hate Gordon Brown" - DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT, then moan, not to me though :P.
Holy shit sticks this have been a long blog.. OOPS!
Can't wait to get back into reading, currently reading 'Nocturnes' by John Connoly, got a good few books lined up for the summer!
So here's my wee list of things to do this summer:
1) sleep
2) get a job (?)
3) DOWNLOAD FESTIVAL BITCHES.
4) modify my body
5) lose weight (swimming, yay)
6) go to the beach more than once!
7) get a tan NATURALLY
8) get my wee flat looking spick and span!
9) see all my loved ones whenever possible :)
Peace.
...just picture me doing some sort of celebratory dance haha! funky chicken perhaps?
So May, what's been going on?
Uuuum, not a great deal, it's officially been "stick your head in a textbook" month, so yeah you get the jist, studying, studying and oh yeah studying!
There's a few things i can remember, liiike when Megan came to stay and we watched Twilight (she's now officially hooked) and made puppy chow (a mixture consisting of shreddies, peanut butter, melted galaxy and icing sugar) .. NOT the greatest munch alive, and singing "IT'S BUSINESS, IT'S BUSINESS TIME" in bed at like half 1 in the morning haha :)
& Every Time I Die @ ABC, that was pretty smashing, Gallows were surprisingly good, they ought to be endorsed by Heinz or something, skinny fucks, but they put on a good show! aaand i got to see Dale so that was even better :D, i miss going to gigs all the time, next gig issss Taking BackSunday i think, who's going? My boyfriend has rekindled my love for Adam Lazarra <3
Alsooo there was Ali's 20th at Classic Grand, and i have to say, 4th time lucky was definitely lucky, i actually enjoyed myself, even got on the dancefloor for some Enter Shikarrriii, the boys had the moves! But due to being ill (aye, AGAIN) was on antibiotics and couldn't drink, garbage i tell ye.
& Charmaine's 21st at Hamilton Accies, got far too sloshed (i blame my boyfriend for buying me drinks all night) and the highlight of my night was ATTEMPTING to jumpstyle to scooter with Caly & Catt and clean out decking it, then going home, spewing bright purple and going up to Luuu's to recooperate, talk shite for hours and get the best roll 'n' sausage ever out the tabac, love that lassie!
Speaking of being ill, been stupidly ill the past few weeks,feeling sick and headaches etc etc, it's only really just gave it a by, haven't felt sick for a few days but i've had to change my diet, pasta and bread that's about it really, i'm WELL treating myself tonight to a takeaway of sorts though! Perhaps a Chinese? orrr A bigga pizza pie?
Aye, so, today, went to opticians 'cause obviously my eyesight may have been the cause of my headaches, and it turns out it is, my left eyes got considerably worse (basically everythings a total blur out of it) and the optician goes "Yeah, eh, i think you need to wear your glasses a lot more, preferably all the time" EH WHIT, no way am i being a full-time specky :(, no offence to full time speckies, i'm just no' intae it, ken yon wiy?
Ehhh, so overview of exams is probably appropriate considering the title of this here blog, first one was average, second one was okay, third was well good and fourth was average, hmm, fingers crossed for passes! :)
"Life asks of you what it thinks you can handle"
I think that's true, i should have more faith in myself and what i'm capable of coping with, i don't give myself enough credit i reckon. i learn a lesson from everything i go through, and i'll keep saying it but every cloud honestly does have a silver lining, somewhere.
Looking forward to having a fully functioning social life again, it was the worst feeling in the world having to cancel to study, having to put things on hold and not spend time with my pally wals, but now i can, so yay, just some more $$$ wouldn't go a miss ya know?
Don't get me wrong, i can't complain about staying in 90% of the time, 'cause a) i did study more and b) i really enjoy spending time with my lovely boyfriend, he's put up with me so much the past couple weeks, my mood swings have been something fucking else and being a depressed-bunny hasn't helped either - note to self, never bottle things up!
but the negatives have been pants too, too much alone time means i think too much means i can't concentrate to study and meant i was really lonely and dug myself into a wee hole, hopefully i'm climb out of it soon, i hate being this low about things and i don't want to pull everyone close to me down with me.
Trying to think of things that are interesting to talk about... hmm... fed up with my hair colour/cut/EVERYTHING, definitely going blonde, i didn't come this far to go dark again, so back to my natural colour.. crikey, it's been a good while since i've been blonde.
Got a couple of ideas for body mods too, back on the idea of dermal anchors on my chest, just two, at either side, where my collarbones SHOULD be haha :p, or a dermal anchor on one of my fingers, thought that'd be cute, and i want my conch done too. it terms of tattoos i'm really liking the idea of caligraphy in white ink somewhere on me, not too noticeable, understated yet elegant oui? and i plan to get some form of symbol on the side of my finger, meaningful but ye canny really see it, sound good?
Constantly wavering on the idea of taking my bridge out, although the opticians assured me it is not and cannot ever give me a squint i'm less keen to part ways with it, i do love it so! A referendum amongst my friends is long over due haha!
Talking about referendum's, who's voting in the EU elections? or whatever it happens to be, such a good politics student i am, NAHT.
Most folk will know 'cause of my parents i've always kinna favoured Conservatives/Green, and we're working class! Never been a big fan of Labour, but then again that's more to do with current issues and student issues than anything else. Moreover, i'm totally pro-union, so fuck SNP, if you support independence you need to look into it a bit more! I got a flyer through about UKIP, i mean come on, do you honestly think its a good idea to cut ties with the EU when our economy is completely down the pan? It's fairly adequate to suggest the UK is independtly capable of regaining a secure economy without European funding. Hmm, i need to look more into this i reckon, just download the Conservative European Manifesto, but it's frying my brain, i've had enough of Politics for the day!
But, once i've made my mind up on who i'm voting for, i shall post a blog about it and tell you why i'm voting for them, who knows, i could end up voting Labour! :P
BUT MAKE SURE YOU GO OUT AND VOTE! Voter turnouts are unecessarily low, pisses me off, if you've got the right to vote and you know a bit about politics then use your vote to help change the country! You can't sit and moan about how shite the economy is, or if you're an old man in a pub, how much you "fucking hate Gordon Brown" - DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT, then moan, not to me though :P.
Holy shit sticks this have been a long blog.. OOPS!
Can't wait to get back into reading, currently reading 'Nocturnes' by John Connoly, got a good few books lined up for the summer!
So here's my wee list of things to do this summer:
1) sleep
2) get a job (?)
3) DOWNLOAD FESTIVAL BITCHES.
4) modify my body
5) lose weight (swimming, yay)
6) go to the beach more than once!
7) get a tan NATURALLY
8) get my wee flat looking spick and span!
9) see all my loved ones whenever possible :)
Peace.
Thursday, 16 April 2009
Edinburgh
i'll come to that later.
SO, friday/saturday/sunday with my boyfriend, so here's what we did:
Friday, we went to see:
4.5/5 i'd say, (only accounting for the fact it was in Swedish) cannot WAIT to read the book.
opening snow sequence where it's entirely silent is beautiful, makes being a vampire look more life-choice than fairytale, totally different perspective and that's what makes the film good.
thennnn, i went to see my two favourite girls, Plews & Greene and boogied on down at the:
not like we're not always there anyway, but check us out:
love!
Sooo, Saturday, i met up with guess who? Bryan, and we stayed in bed all morning then got up and went to:
for din dins, got an absolute feast, we could barely walk after it, i could easily eat him under the table, apart from when it comes to cake, he is the cakey monster.
then, after Ali came and ate some curly fries and sold us tickets we went to:
we donated towards cancer research but held back on the moshing part.
then Sundayy, i was flung in at the deep end and got to meet the McGuire's at Bryan's sister's 26th.. scary bastards, kidding on, they were top notch folks, even if his gran put FAR too much sherry in the truffles!
but Bryan gave me Ty, as he is so Christened for Eastah:
isn't he cute? ^-^
& we watched:
ANYWAY, back to the point.
14/4/09 was our 2 month anniversary, so we went to Edinburgh for the day :):
being a politics student and that i thought 'hey, lets go up tae holyrood', and after walking so much our feet got sore and the help of google maps on my phone, we found it!:
& then we trekked back along the Royal Mile (which coicidently, is actually a mile long) and went up to the Castle, here's the view from the top:
oooo lovely!
but 'cause i'm "so myspace", we took some more photos from the top ;):
prisons of war? they don't exist, must be some inside joke with the workers there, although watching a wee boy dry hump some concrete balls was pretty entertaining, along with all the other historical malarkey obviously :p.
anyway, after wandering about and soaking up all the history like girl & boy sized sponges, we went and treated ourselves to some ice creams (yummy) and decided to find this mad pub i found on the internet called Jekyll & Hyde and got a drink:
cheeky wee vandals! :)
theeennn, we headed back to glasgow and omnomed our faces off in Republic, i beat Bryan for the first time ever in eating cake, definitely worth mentioning, i'm sure his ego took a severe beating after it.
ehhh mario, you're amazing uh :)
Peace.
SO, friday/saturday/sunday with my boyfriend, so here's what we did:
Friday, we went to see:
4.5/5 i'd say, (only accounting for the fact it was in Swedish) cannot WAIT to read the book.
opening snow sequence where it's entirely silent is beautiful, makes being a vampire look more life-choice than fairytale, totally different perspective and that's what makes the film good.
thennnn, i went to see my two favourite girls, Plews & Greene and boogied on down at the:
not like we're not always there anyway, but check us out:
love!
Sooo, Saturday, i met up with guess who? Bryan, and we stayed in bed all morning then got up and went to:
for din dins, got an absolute feast, we could barely walk after it, i could easily eat him under the table, apart from when it comes to cake, he is the cakey monster.
then, after Ali came and ate some curly fries and sold us tickets we went to:
we donated towards cancer research but held back on the moshing part.
then Sundayy, i was flung in at the deep end and got to meet the McGuire's at Bryan's sister's 26th.. scary bastards, kidding on, they were top notch folks, even if his gran put FAR too much sherry in the truffles!
but Bryan gave me Ty, as he is so Christened for Eastah:
isn't he cute? ^-^
& we watched:
ANYWAY, back to the point.
14/4/09 was our 2 month anniversary, so we went to Edinburgh for the day :):
being a politics student and that i thought 'hey, lets go up tae holyrood', and after walking so much our feet got sore and the help of google maps on my phone, we found it!:
& then we trekked back along the Royal Mile (which coicidently, is actually a mile long) and went up to the Castle, here's the view from the top:
oooo lovely!
but 'cause i'm "so myspace", we took some more photos from the top ;):
prisons of war? they don't exist, must be some inside joke with the workers there, although watching a wee boy dry hump some concrete balls was pretty entertaining, along with all the other historical malarkey obviously :p.
anyway, after wandering about and soaking up all the history like girl & boy sized sponges, we went and treated ourselves to some ice creams (yummy) and decided to find this mad pub i found on the internet called Jekyll & Hyde and got a drink:
cheeky wee vandals! :)
theeennn, we headed back to glasgow and omnomed our faces off in Republic, i beat Bryan for the first time ever in eating cake, definitely worth mentioning, i'm sure his ego took a severe beating after it.
ehhh mario, you're amazing uh :)
Peace.
for Aimée
because I'm thinking of you & i know how much you enjoy my ramblings on here :).
It annoys me how i can barely remember what i did last week, or what the different parts of the brain are, yet when i find an old CD i loved, i can put it on and remember every single word of every single song.
& i also hate how much i hate clutter and love minimalism, yet my flat is like a multicoloured jumble sale - i'd love a blank canvas, and the money to paint it however i want.
so many things remains unfinished!
e.g. driving lessons, i can't afford to do them right now, so i'm going to suggest a break i reckon, start them up again once my exams are completed.
always seems to be practical things i never see through, you wouldn't think it but when i was younger i did tap dancing, disco dancing, ballet, swimming, baton twirling, even karate, but i never stuck at it, never made something of it, only one i ever entered a competition for or did a show for, was swimming, and fuck knows where that trophy is.
even at school, i got chucked out higher art and i haven't picked up any of my instruments since the day of my practical exam 2 years ago, they just collect dust under my bed... and it's not that i wasn't good at it, i was dropped for higher art because i made no effort, i was chucked out all 3 school bands i was in for swearing at a couple of teachers.
i wish i had the time to devote time to drawing again, or the time to go and buy a music book, and play some jazz on my sax, ken, just for the hell of it, maybe put my purple music stand to more use than hanging my old jewelery from. fact is i just have a lot of my wee plate, or maybe my priorities aren't what they should be.
i'm kind of torn between doing what's best for my future and living for the moment, i can't seem to decide what's more important, so it's a seesaw currently.
'the thing about doing everything is having no time to do nothing'
i know a good few of you could say, aye, but sitting on myspace is doing nothing, it's being lazy, but it's not, everything requires effort, i use the internet to keep track of my friends, make the effort to have conversations with them, so i'm not totally being absorbed by my other priorities - a point to social networking, whodda thought it?!
so yes, studying has been initiated.. did some on neurological disorders.. makes me cringe - no, i'm not a hypocondriac! well, maybe a little bit :p
the fact that from studying this i have learned that a coldsore can lead to severe memory loss (clive wearing anyone?) and chicken pocs can eradicate my spatial awareness freaks the sheet out of me (i haven't had them yet :().
but i'll go to bed early tonight, and i'll be up at 8am to do what? yes STUDY, study bum, study study study, book hugging, study geek. I'M EVEN WEARING MY SPECS.
in other news, family.. family really is the friends you choose, those you choose to keep close to you. fair enough, loving family is an unconditional kind of love, but not everyone is that lucky.
but i keep trying, i keep trying because i'll never stop loving you, even thought you always hurt me, there is an invisible tie connecting us that has been there since the day i was born and it'll never break, you can tug on it all you want, try and run from it, but it's always going to be there.
this leads me to thank a few people, one girl in particular - julie mclachlan.
i don't know where i'd be without you.
the rest of you, well, there's only certain folk i bother talking to nowadays, so i'm pretty sure you know that i love you.
<3
what else?
aye, summer, so last summer i was PRETTY skint, by pretty skint, i mean i ate peanut butter on toast for about 3 months, so this summer i intend to get a job - DUN DUN DUUUUNNN.
how can you say 'no' to my m-m-m-metal face? honestly guys, give me a job please? \m/
xxxxxxxbrawxxxxxxxxx
just realised i'm sitting in the dark, i am a payoor goff. NNCE NNCE.
Peace.
It annoys me how i can barely remember what i did last week, or what the different parts of the brain are, yet when i find an old CD i loved, i can put it on and remember every single word of every single song.
& i also hate how much i hate clutter and love minimalism, yet my flat is like a multicoloured jumble sale - i'd love a blank canvas, and the money to paint it however i want.
so many things remains unfinished!
e.g. driving lessons, i can't afford to do them right now, so i'm going to suggest a break i reckon, start them up again once my exams are completed.
always seems to be practical things i never see through, you wouldn't think it but when i was younger i did tap dancing, disco dancing, ballet, swimming, baton twirling, even karate, but i never stuck at it, never made something of it, only one i ever entered a competition for or did a show for, was swimming, and fuck knows where that trophy is.
even at school, i got chucked out higher art and i haven't picked up any of my instruments since the day of my practical exam 2 years ago, they just collect dust under my bed... and it's not that i wasn't good at it, i was dropped for higher art because i made no effort, i was chucked out all 3 school bands i was in for swearing at a couple of teachers.
i wish i had the time to devote time to drawing again, or the time to go and buy a music book, and play some jazz on my sax, ken, just for the hell of it, maybe put my purple music stand to more use than hanging my old jewelery from. fact is i just have a lot of my wee plate, or maybe my priorities aren't what they should be.
i'm kind of torn between doing what's best for my future and living for the moment, i can't seem to decide what's more important, so it's a seesaw currently.
'the thing about doing everything is having no time to do nothing'
i know a good few of you could say, aye, but sitting on myspace is doing nothing, it's being lazy, but it's not, everything requires effort, i use the internet to keep track of my friends, make the effort to have conversations with them, so i'm not totally being absorbed by my other priorities - a point to social networking, whodda thought it?!
so yes, studying has been initiated.. did some on neurological disorders.. makes me cringe - no, i'm not a hypocondriac! well, maybe a little bit :p
the fact that from studying this i have learned that a coldsore can lead to severe memory loss (clive wearing anyone?) and chicken pocs can eradicate my spatial awareness freaks the sheet out of me (i haven't had them yet :().
but i'll go to bed early tonight, and i'll be up at 8am to do what? yes STUDY, study bum, study study study, book hugging, study geek. I'M EVEN WEARING MY SPECS.
in other news, family.. family really is the friends you choose, those you choose to keep close to you. fair enough, loving family is an unconditional kind of love, but not everyone is that lucky.
but i keep trying, i keep trying because i'll never stop loving you, even thought you always hurt me, there is an invisible tie connecting us that has been there since the day i was born and it'll never break, you can tug on it all you want, try and run from it, but it's always going to be there.
this leads me to thank a few people, one girl in particular - julie mclachlan.
i don't know where i'd be without you.
the rest of you, well, there's only certain folk i bother talking to nowadays, so i'm pretty sure you know that i love you.
<3
what else?
aye, summer, so last summer i was PRETTY skint, by pretty skint, i mean i ate peanut butter on toast for about 3 months, so this summer i intend to get a job - DUN DUN DUUUUNNN.
how can you say 'no' to my m-m-m-metal face? honestly guys, give me a job please? \m/
xxxxxxxbrawxxxxxxxxx
just realised i'm sitting in the dark, i am a payoor goff. NNCE NNCE.
Peace.
Friday, 3 April 2009
Spring Break
technically starts for me today - skipped class today, cheeky chops!
Quite looking forward to these two weeks off, although it only means the exams are creeping closer! Got lots to keep me occupied - that is, when I'm not sleeping :p
i. Study for exams (ugh)
ii. Write up psychology report (UGH)
iii. Get my conch pierced!
iv. SLEEPSLEEPSLEEP
v. See Megan Ansdell for toast and OJ!
vi. Finish reading 'Breaking Dawn' & start reading 'Nocturnes' (thank you Bryyaaann)
vii. Spend time with my boyfriend :)
viii. Get my feet sorted, ouch :(
ix. Purchase Sky TV/broadband/phone (fuck you BT, FUCK YOU).
x. Go see my siblings.
xi. Trip to the beach if this lovely weather keeps up? Any takers? Ice cream w/raspberry sauce.
xii. Download more music than is humanly possible.
xiii. WATCH TWILIGHT EVERY SINGLE DAY.
xiv. Prodigy/Dizzee Rascal!
Not in that order obviously.. sleep CLEARLY comes first!
OH OH, good news: so, i went to the nurse the other day there, and she said "here hen, a hink that's you healed up noo, so you'll no' be needin' it packed"
BEST. NEWS. EVER.
I really wish i had my drivers license and a car right now, would like nothing better than to drive about in the sunshine blasting Deftones (praying they do a UK tour and not just leeds/reading!).
Aye, so as you may have guessed, i failed my 1st test... something tells me it'll take me a good few attempts! Haven't booked a new test.. too nervous really, failing is one of the worst feelings ever. I'll get there eventually, heres to hoping! :)
Download is 69 days away and I've yet to buy train tickets, although hopefully once the student loan is in Gee will be hitting me up to go book tickets! I VERY EXCITE.
What else is there to report?
Ahh yes, PARIS.. read my next blog.
& I am now 19 years old, and have been fooorrr 2 weeks now.
My birthday was gooood, Bryan took me out for dinner which was lovely, plus he's lovely, so it was lovely. Haha :p
Then got my hair/nails did, put on a pretty white dress (only the bf has a photo) and went to Rufus T's/Cathouse with my favourite people :) Don't remember many bits, and to be honest i think that's due to my shite memory, not alcohol - which i REALLY regretted.
Teetotal, ftw.
Peace
Quite looking forward to these two weeks off, although it only means the exams are creeping closer! Got lots to keep me occupied - that is, when I'm not sleeping :p
i. Study for exams (ugh)
ii. Write up psychology report (UGH)
iii. Get my conch pierced!
iv. SLEEPSLEEPSLEEP
v. See Megan Ansdell for toast and OJ!
vi. Finish reading 'Breaking Dawn' & start reading 'Nocturnes' (thank you Bryyaaann)
vii. Spend time with my boyfriend :)
viii. Get my feet sorted, ouch :(
ix. Purchase Sky TV/broadband/phone (fuck you BT, FUCK YOU).
x. Go see my siblings.
xi. Trip to the beach if this lovely weather keeps up? Any takers? Ice cream w/raspberry sauce.
xii. Download more music than is humanly possible.
xiii. WATCH TWILIGHT EVERY SINGLE DAY.
xiv. Prodigy/Dizzee Rascal!
Not in that order obviously.. sleep CLEARLY comes first!
OH OH, good news: so, i went to the nurse the other day there, and she said "here hen, a hink that's you healed up noo, so you'll no' be needin' it packed"
BEST. NEWS. EVER.
I really wish i had my drivers license and a car right now, would like nothing better than to drive about in the sunshine blasting Deftones (praying they do a UK tour and not just leeds/reading!).
Aye, so as you may have guessed, i failed my 1st test... something tells me it'll take me a good few attempts! Haven't booked a new test.. too nervous really, failing is one of the worst feelings ever. I'll get there eventually, heres to hoping! :)
Download is 69 days away and I've yet to buy train tickets, although hopefully once the student loan is in Gee will be hitting me up to go book tickets! I VERY EXCITE.
What else is there to report?
Ahh yes, PARIS.. read my next blog.
& I am now 19 years old, and have been fooorrr 2 weeks now.
My birthday was gooood, Bryan took me out for dinner which was lovely, plus he's lovely, so it was lovely. Haha :p
Then got my hair/nails did, put on a pretty white dress (only the bf has a photo) and went to Rufus T's/Cathouse with my favourite people :) Don't remember many bits, and to be honest i think that's due to my shite memory, not alcohol - which i REALLY regretted.
Teetotal, ftw.
Peace
Friday, 6 March 2009
Ribena
inspired me to write a blog today on the bus home from uni.
- the new strawberry stuff, anyone tried it? it's about time they stuck that stuff in a bottle!
mmm.
There's very little point to this blog, just thought I'd have a ramble about stuff that's floating about my head currently...
First up, the new msn, anyone got it? Very different - technology bedazzles me at the best of times and hence i am craving a macbook (any rich friends stuck with what to get me for my birthday? there's a huge big stinking hint).
So, diet update: i now weigh just over 10.5 stone, pretty chuffed if I'm honest, although i slipped up and treated myself today :( - perserverance is the key my friend! Aim: to look good naked.
It's my 19th in 2 weeks, nowhere near as excited as i was last year, but mind you, i turned 18 and i became legal so yeah, fuck all changes at 19.
(but get your arses out on Friday 20th, for some drunken (19 shots is an option) fun-filled antics)
PARIS however, is in 20 days, if this hotel accepts my fucking credit card, been declined THREE times, just about to re-book it, 4th time lucky?!
Booked cinema tickets to go see 'Watchmen' next Wednesday with my ol' ball & chain ;) (kidding, he's supercalifragilisticexpialidocious). Relatively excited although gutted the Imax aren't showing it (cocksuckers) but Cineworld will have to do!
What else, what else?
Uuuum, sticking in at uni a bit more, which is demanding but it's better than one of those chocolate muffins out Greggs when you can sit down and realise you have nothing to do because you've already done it.
Oh, AND i bought my Download Ticket, payooor limpin' with the bizkit. Gonny get my MAWSH OAN.
- current 'Download' tune: Limp Bizkit - Trust?
My starsign says i should expect fortune in money on the 7th - aye, 'cause that's when SAAS pays out, shopping spreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. \m/(£-£)\m/ (that's me with pound signs for eyes, innit).
Moving onto something a little more serious..
Realised this week, always to trust my instincts about other people, even when people tell me otherwise, because the majority of the time, i'm not far off the mark.
Trying to rekindle friendships that i'm not sure i want to rekindle - if it was so worth it they'd make the effort with me right?
The people i love, i love for a reason, and they keep reminding me why, and they are the ones i think about and the ones i miss, the one's who i'll sit and listen to BMTH and imagine dancing with, the one's whos faces pop into my head when i'm reminded of little things that we share that make me smile, like shexy sean connery impressions, ken?
Moreover, as Hollow Crown sang at me, "Time is our only friend now".
I have so many priorities and so little time, haw Bernard - geez yer watch.
But i'll keep on making time for what's important.
Peace.
- the new strawberry stuff, anyone tried it? it's about time they stuck that stuff in a bottle!
mmm.
There's very little point to this blog, just thought I'd have a ramble about stuff that's floating about my head currently...
First up, the new msn, anyone got it? Very different - technology bedazzles me at the best of times and hence i am craving a macbook (any rich friends stuck with what to get me for my birthday? there's a huge big stinking hint).
So, diet update: i now weigh just over 10.5 stone, pretty chuffed if I'm honest, although i slipped up and treated myself today :( - perserverance is the key my friend! Aim: to look good naked.
It's my 19th in 2 weeks, nowhere near as excited as i was last year, but mind you, i turned 18 and i became legal so yeah, fuck all changes at 19.
(but get your arses out on Friday 20th, for some drunken (19 shots is an option) fun-filled antics)
PARIS however, is in 20 days, if this hotel accepts my fucking credit card, been declined THREE times, just about to re-book it, 4th time lucky?!
Booked cinema tickets to go see 'Watchmen' next Wednesday with my ol' ball & chain ;) (kidding, he's supercalifragilisticexpialidocious). Relatively excited although gutted the Imax aren't showing it (cocksuckers) but Cineworld will have to do!
What else, what else?
Uuuum, sticking in at uni a bit more, which is demanding but it's better than one of those chocolate muffins out Greggs when you can sit down and realise you have nothing to do because you've already done it.
Oh, AND i bought my Download Ticket, payooor limpin' with the bizkit. Gonny get my MAWSH OAN.
- current 'Download' tune: Limp Bizkit - Trust?
My starsign says i should expect fortune in money on the 7th - aye, 'cause that's when SAAS pays out, shopping spreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. \m/(£-£)\m/ (that's me with pound signs for eyes, innit).
Moving onto something a little more serious..
Realised this week, always to trust my instincts about other people, even when people tell me otherwise, because the majority of the time, i'm not far off the mark.
Trying to rekindle friendships that i'm not sure i want to rekindle - if it was so worth it they'd make the effort with me right?
The people i love, i love for a reason, and they keep reminding me why, and they are the ones i think about and the ones i miss, the one's who i'll sit and listen to BMTH and imagine dancing with, the one's whos faces pop into my head when i'm reminded of little things that we share that make me smile, like shexy sean connery impressions, ken?
Moreover, as Hollow Crown sang at me, "Time is our only friend now".
I have so many priorities and so little time, haw Bernard - geez yer watch.
But i'll keep on making time for what's important.
Peace.
Friday, 20 February 2009
Status:
In a Relationship.
Certainly worth blogging about i reckon. Plus i'm sure all you gossiping so 'n' so's with by chomping at the bit for all the juicy details (but you're getting none).
14/02/09 babes.
:)
What else?
Juggling everything's getting a bit harder, but my wound will be healed soon, and hopefully I'll pass my driving test next month so that frees up a lot of time!
Getting rather excited about:
Slipknot, Korn, Prodigy, Pendulum, LIMP BIZKIT :D:D:D:D:D:D
Awww whit! Well getting my ticket as soon as! Suffo, Catto & Lorio tearing up Doningtono 2kaii9 hopefuleeeeeeee!
Just took a break while typing this to go and purchase:
Just a craving i couldn't resist! Omnomnomnomnom :p
Bought 7 dvds today for £44, i'm a sucker for cheap dvds!
Think my favourite out of them all is:
VAMPIRES (L)
Although Tom Cruise can get tae, hacket wee rodent!
AND BTW what's this Jason Lee is also a scientologist? (it doesn't deserve a capital letter) fuck a duck man, my respect for him has lowered considerably.
Fuck scientology, fuck 'My Name is Earl'
This is what I'm talking aboooooooooooooooowt aiight:
By Monday, i'm expected to have memorized all the different parts of the brain, their function and what happens if they're damaged, it's gonna be a looooooooooong weekend.
Blanky McBlankerson should get laid and fill in our fucking blanks, honestly, after a staff meeting that shit still isn't solved?
YES WE CAN Obama said, well blatantly, in this case, we canny, so i'll just have to go to all my lectures and deal with this detriment to my learning caused by BLANKETY FUCKING BLANKS in lecture shitting slides.
Well speaking of University (which coincidentally, i do love, just not this week) i have an online project to complete, oh the joy.
Peace.
Certainly worth blogging about i reckon. Plus i'm sure all you gossiping so 'n' so's with by chomping at the bit for all the juicy details (but you're getting none).
14/02/09 babes.
:)
What else?
Juggling everything's getting a bit harder, but my wound will be healed soon, and hopefully I'll pass my driving test next month so that frees up a lot of time!
Getting rather excited about:
Slipknot, Korn, Prodigy, Pendulum, LIMP BIZKIT :D:D:D:D:D:D
Awww whit! Well getting my ticket as soon as! Suffo, Catto & Lorio tearing up Doningtono 2kaii9 hopefuleeeeeeee!
Just took a break while typing this to go and purchase:
Just a craving i couldn't resist! Omnomnomnomnom :p
Bought 7 dvds today for £44, i'm a sucker for cheap dvds!
Think my favourite out of them all is:
VAMPIRES (L)
Although Tom Cruise can get tae, hacket wee rodent!
AND BTW what's this Jason Lee is also a scientologist? (it doesn't deserve a capital letter) fuck a duck man, my respect for him has lowered considerably.
Fuck scientology, fuck 'My Name is Earl'
This is what I'm talking aboooooooooooooooowt aiight:
By Monday, i'm expected to have memorized all the different parts of the brain, their function and what happens if they're damaged, it's gonna be a looooooooooong weekend.
Blanky McBlankerson should get laid and fill in our fucking blanks, honestly, after a staff meeting that shit still isn't solved?
YES WE CAN Obama said, well blatantly, in this case, we canny, so i'll just have to go to all my lectures and deal with this detriment to my learning caused by BLANKETY FUCKING BLANKS in lecture shitting slides.
Well speaking of University (which coincidentally, i do love, just not this week) i have an online project to complete, oh the joy.
Peace.
Monday, 2 February 2009
Snow
What a wank.
It is beautiful and all that, but for commuters like myself, who travel a total of 80 miles a day, it's an absolute hoor.
Wonder what it's like tomorrow? I'm going out on force tomorrow - hat, gloves, scarf, thick socks, the lot! little red-headed snow woman!
So? what have i been up to... Not much really, first week back at uni last week! One day back then the freight train crash, now the snow, public transport can sook my big toe! especially Scotrail, you can go and take a long walk off a short pier!
This is what i learned my first day back on Monday:
This happened Tuesday:
which totally and utterly fucked up my trains, so now i'm getting the bus everyday, BOO!
Wednesday i hung out with a rather lovely man and went to see:
Thursday, i pretty much smiled all day.
Friday, i learned about this:
& slept lots due to not feeling well!
Saturday i met Megan in Glasgow and hung out, i will put a photo up once she's uploaded them :p
<3
Sunday, i stayed in bed ill again, and read this:
& today (Monday) i walked around covered in snow moaning about being cold (although big up to my umbrella for holding up!):
p.s my Mum is so cute, she had flowers delivered to me with a balloon, i'll put a photo up later :)
Peace.
It is beautiful and all that, but for commuters like myself, who travel a total of 80 miles a day, it's an absolute hoor.
Wonder what it's like tomorrow? I'm going out on force tomorrow - hat, gloves, scarf, thick socks, the lot! little red-headed snow woman!
So? what have i been up to... Not much really, first week back at uni last week! One day back then the freight train crash, now the snow, public transport can sook my big toe! especially Scotrail, you can go and take a long walk off a short pier!
This is what i learned my first day back on Monday:
This happened Tuesday:
which totally and utterly fucked up my trains, so now i'm getting the bus everyday, BOO!
Wednesday i hung out with a rather lovely man and went to see:
Thursday, i pretty much smiled all day.
Friday, i learned about this:
& slept lots due to not feeling well!
Saturday i met Megan in Glasgow and hung out, i will put a photo up once she's uploaded them :p
<3
Sunday, i stayed in bed ill again, and read this:
& today (Monday) i walked around covered in snow moaning about being cold (although big up to my umbrella for holding up!):
p.s my Mum is so cute, she had flowers delivered to me with a balloon, i'll put a photo up later :)
Peace.
Thursday, 22 January 2009
Skins
So, today is nearly over and I'm feeling a great wave of calm is due to crash over me.
1. Exam's have finished now.
2. My parent's are here
3. New semester on Monday.
4. New classes on Monday.
5. New routine commencing Monday
6. NEW START.
My year is officially starting, and although I'm still healing i have many plans! Starting with getting properly into the swing of things with uni & passing my driving test!
I know i always say this, but i will lose weight, I'm going to work 3 days of swimming into my 5 day uni week. Also, going to cut all the shit out my diet.
Decided that i will only treat myself to materialistic stuff every time i achieve something (let's see if i stick to that, nothing like a bit of retail therapy!); e.g when i finished my exams today i bought these:
I now know what colour to dye my hair haha, after watching the first episode in Skins series 3 with me Jooooooleh! - wish i saw her more, we always have a laugh!
For those of you who don't know, I'm a HUGE fan of Skins, got the first 2 series on DVD haha. A lot of people have been commenting on how shit the new cast are, but to be honest i love them. The contrast in the twins is brilliant, Freddie is an utter ride (love you babes), Cook is proper nuts (like Chris 'cept cheekier), Effy is just effing fab, Pandora's slightly like Cassie 'cept a hell-of-a-lot less annoying! and Naomi(L)! She's going to be a great laugh i reckon. The new series seems a lot crazier and more exciting than the second which really lacked in enticement.
There's a proper HUGE Skins poster in Strathy Union, going to see if i can get it when I'm back on Monday, think I'll get one of those 'University of Strathclyde' hoodies too, REPRESENT!
My new favourite babes:
&
&
Can't wait to not wake up to an alarm tomorrow.
Peace.
1. Exam's have finished now.
2. My parent's are here
3. New semester on Monday.
4. New classes on Monday.
5. New routine commencing Monday
6. NEW START.
My year is officially starting, and although I'm still healing i have many plans! Starting with getting properly into the swing of things with uni & passing my driving test!
I know i always say this, but i will lose weight, I'm going to work 3 days of swimming into my 5 day uni week. Also, going to cut all the shit out my diet.
Decided that i will only treat myself to materialistic stuff every time i achieve something (let's see if i stick to that, nothing like a bit of retail therapy!); e.g when i finished my exams today i bought these:
I now know what colour to dye my hair haha, after watching the first episode in Skins series 3 with me Jooooooleh! - wish i saw her more, we always have a laugh!
For those of you who don't know, I'm a HUGE fan of Skins, got the first 2 series on DVD haha. A lot of people have been commenting on how shit the new cast are, but to be honest i love them. The contrast in the twins is brilliant, Freddie is an utter ride (love you babes), Cook is proper nuts (like Chris 'cept cheekier), Effy is just effing fab, Pandora's slightly like Cassie 'cept a hell-of-a-lot less annoying! and Naomi(L)! She's going to be a great laugh i reckon. The new series seems a lot crazier and more exciting than the second which really lacked in enticement.
There's a proper HUGE Skins poster in Strathy Union, going to see if i can get it when I'm back on Monday, think I'll get one of those 'University of Strathclyde' hoodies too, REPRESENT!
My new favourite babes:
&
&
Can't wait to not wake up to an alarm tomorrow.
Peace.
Wednesday, 21 January 2009
2 down, 1 to go!
Exams, one more tomorrow (Quantitative Methods) and it's multiple choice - GET IN!
Social Influence was an absolute reeker, managed to get 3 questions done though, even if they are slightly made up haha. American Politics was a stroll in the park although i think i blabbered on a bit too much, so might get heavy penalised for rambling! Oh well! It's over with now.
In a really good mood today actually! :)
Think it's 'cause I'm really looking forward to tomorrow - last exam, then meeting Kud for lunch/shopping + Jordan as i am his personal stylist! Wonder what i'll buy o0o, think i'll treat myself to a shopping spree in Accessorize(L). I'll drag Kud round all the girlie shops haha! o0o! I can buy the rest of the TWILIGHT books too :D!
Theeeeeeeen coming home and my parents will be here! Looking forward to seeing these cheeky monkeys:
My mum's not a chink haha, just the way she's smiling, not the most photogenic!
That pic was from Christmas day, which was quite possibly the happiest day of my year :)
Then JOOOOOOOOOOOLEH will arrive and we will get CHIPS CHEESE AND PAKORA SAUCE and watch Skiiiiiiinsssss (L) :D
Met my sister on the bus today, and we were talking about uni (she's got a degree in psychology/sociology, works at Killie College) and she said how i should definitely get some sort of teaching qualification after my hons (praying i get that far) as it will make finding a job a hell of a lot easier! Makes me wonder where i'll be in 5 years time, hopefully somewhere that I'm happy and content and successful, i can dream!
I think I'm addicted to this.
Peace.
Social Influence was an absolute reeker, managed to get 3 questions done though, even if they are slightly made up haha. American Politics was a stroll in the park although i think i blabbered on a bit too much, so might get heavy penalised for rambling! Oh well! It's over with now.
In a really good mood today actually! :)
Think it's 'cause I'm really looking forward to tomorrow - last exam, then meeting Kud for lunch/shopping + Jordan as i am his personal stylist! Wonder what i'll buy o0o, think i'll treat myself to a shopping spree in Accessorize(L). I'll drag Kud round all the girlie shops haha! o0o! I can buy the rest of the TWILIGHT books too :D!
Theeeeeeeen coming home and my parents will be here! Looking forward to seeing these cheeky monkeys:
My mum's not a chink haha, just the way she's smiling, not the most photogenic!
That pic was from Christmas day, which was quite possibly the happiest day of my year :)
Then JOOOOOOOOOOOLEH will arrive and we will get CHIPS CHEESE AND PAKORA SAUCE and watch Skiiiiiiinsssss (L) :D
Met my sister on the bus today, and we were talking about uni (she's got a degree in psychology/sociology, works at Killie College) and she said how i should definitely get some sort of teaching qualification after my hons (praying i get that far) as it will make finding a job a hell of a lot easier! Makes me wonder where i'll be in 5 years time, hopefully somewhere that I'm happy and content and successful, i can dream!
I think I'm addicted to this.
Peace.
Hospital
It occurred to me that I'd never actually posted a blog about being in hospital.
Well, aye, new year's day i was taken to A&E with a severely inflamed pilonidal abscess, hurt like a bitch.
You've no idea how uncomfortable it is not being age to sit properly or walk properly, and to get to the point where your body becomes immune to nurofen so you need to take even stronger painkillers!
Probably, in fact, DEFINITELY, one of the worst experiences of my life, scary as fuck too.
Plus old lady banter = shite; but MySpace at my bed (Y)
Had surgery on the 2nd, general anesthetic, don't remember much, was like "i don't think it's kicking... SNOOZE" haha!
Vicky Lauder's an angel - honestly - :p she stayed with me the full time i was awake at hospital. After surgery she helped me ram my piercings back in (top priority) and even went back out and brought me a McDonalds! (had been fasting for like 15 hours!)
That's what you call a true friend! Love you miss! :)
The Lauder's in general actually, fantastic family: from coming to get me on new years day, to putting me up for nearly 3 weeks to holding my hand when i needed support!
Also, woke up to see both my big sisters sitting next to me, first time I'd seen them in years, or spoke to them, and now we're speaking again and rebuilding our relationships! So, even though I've an extra arsehole for the time being, that makes up for it!
My brother also came to visit me with 2 of my nieces (i have 4, and 3 nephews haha!)
Starting to feel part of a family again, & it feels good!
Still seeing the nurse every day, miss Esther (nurse in Irvine) but not long left now i hope! The infection's cleared up, so onwards and upwards eh! :)
Peace.
Well, aye, new year's day i was taken to A&E with a severely inflamed pilonidal abscess, hurt like a bitch.
You've no idea how uncomfortable it is not being age to sit properly or walk properly, and to get to the point where your body becomes immune to nurofen so you need to take even stronger painkillers!
Probably, in fact, DEFINITELY, one of the worst experiences of my life, scary as fuck too.
Plus old lady banter = shite; but MySpace at my bed (Y)
Had surgery on the 2nd, general anesthetic, don't remember much, was like "i don't think it's kicking... SNOOZE" haha!
Vicky Lauder's an angel - honestly - :p she stayed with me the full time i was awake at hospital. After surgery she helped me ram my piercings back in (top priority) and even went back out and brought me a McDonalds! (had been fasting for like 15 hours!)
That's what you call a true friend! Love you miss! :)
The Lauder's in general actually, fantastic family: from coming to get me on new years day, to putting me up for nearly 3 weeks to holding my hand when i needed support!
Also, woke up to see both my big sisters sitting next to me, first time I'd seen them in years, or spoke to them, and now we're speaking again and rebuilding our relationships! So, even though I've an extra arsehole for the time being, that makes up for it!
My brother also came to visit me with 2 of my nieces (i have 4, and 3 nephews haha!)
Starting to feel part of a family again, & it feels good!
Still seeing the nurse every day, miss Esther (nurse in Irvine) but not long left now i hope! The infection's cleared up, so onwards and upwards eh! :)
Peace.
Tuesday, 20 January 2009
Barack Obama & Cherry Bakewells
Both exceedingly good.
Watching America's 44th President's inauguration, moving stuff.
A new reporter mentioned how his slogan is "Yes We Can" and how now, within the next 100 days he's going to have to put that into motion and keep to the sky high expectations his followers have of him. Can he? That's the question. I have every faith in him, and i believe that he truly believes in what he intends to do, but with as little experience and foreign knowledge as he has, will it be enough?
"The World has changed, we must change with it".
There is great controversy concerning who will be actually running things, with an essentially Clinton cabinet, will it be Hilary Clinton or Joe Biden reaching out to foreign leaders and such, will Barack be putting his mark on things?
I remember being in first year Modern Studies and talking about America in terms of being a "melting pot" or "a salad bowl" i think that was it, well, i'm hoping it becomes more of a melting pot. I know i'm not black (although, me & Julie both wish we were, especially today! :p) but it honestly put a lump in my throat seeing their reactions to Obama's speech, the 1st African American Black US President, THIS IS HISTORY IN THE MAKING! quite glad something like this has occurred in my lifetime!
- "The Culmination of the Civil Rights movement"
Thankfully, now there's no longer a divided government so therefore, there will hopefully be a much smoother transfer in power, as finally Congress will have a president they will be willing to fully cooperate with!
Hmm, lots of thoughts, got my American Politics exam tomorrow, after my Social Influence exam, got 4 cans of KICK! & i shall hopefully get everything done with a few hours sleep too!
Treated myself to some Cherry Bakewell's today out scumerfield, Mr Kiplings obviously, none of this "own brand" pish!
Realised today that i really don't give a fuck what people think, click the 'delete' button and "byeee" end of. I am who i am eh? Bit like marmite i suppose, you either love me or you hate me! Haha, and i LOVE marmite! (remember the marmite flavoured crisps? mmmm) I don't smell like marmite however, at least i hope not hahaha!
I'd like to think i smell of 'Insolence' (the perfume, although quite fitting don't you think? ;)) Neil commented on it last night saying how nice it was, and how that's how he knew it was me last night, the fact i was jumping about singing and how i smelt haha!
Met Bryan last night! Weird, considering i've been speaking to him every day for what feels like forever, didn't feel like he was a stranger at all! I don't know if he reads this haha, hope not. Hope i meet him a lot more, seems like someone i'd enjoy hanging out with, unlike Napier - what an absolute PRICK! Haha joking, he's alright, got pretty good patter but, must say i don't like the fact he has the ability to rip me to shreds in about 0.2 seconds haha. Good pair of boys though, good addition to my wee group of friends.
Aye last night, ARCHITECTS & MIS SIGS! Wowowoweeewaaah!
:D
Misery Signals were actually epic, and i'm only using that expression because none other fits as well! They opened with 'Set in Motion' (current favourite song!) and ended with The Year Summer Ended in June!!! Don't think anyone was expecting that, didn't even know they were allowed to play it! Amazing though, perfect set.
Architects, ahhhhh, i'd love to see them in a bigger venue! They never have enough people jumping about going nuts, maybe one day Glasgow will pull out the big guns for them, like they deserve, although pretty sure Kud accounted for like 15 folk with how mental he was going :p! "GIT YER TAPS AFF" "She said it, nane o' that gay shit man, am no gay" Ahahaha! EARLY GRAVE was amaaaaazing
"The choices I've made, will lead me, to an early. FUCKING. GRAAAAAAAVE!" *flicks fringe & waves arms*
Stressed, it's 9pm and i've still a good 3 topics to write out before i start revising, these energy drinks better hit me quick, unlike last time when they didn't kick in 'til i went to fucking bed!
Skins of THURSDAY! Wooooo!
Don't think I've anything more to say haha,
Peace.
Watching America's 44th President's inauguration, moving stuff.
A new reporter mentioned how his slogan is "Yes We Can" and how now, within the next 100 days he's going to have to put that into motion and keep to the sky high expectations his followers have of him. Can he? That's the question. I have every faith in him, and i believe that he truly believes in what he intends to do, but with as little experience and foreign knowledge as he has, will it be enough?
"The World has changed, we must change with it".
There is great controversy concerning who will be actually running things, with an essentially Clinton cabinet, will it be Hilary Clinton or Joe Biden reaching out to foreign leaders and such, will Barack be putting his mark on things?
I remember being in first year Modern Studies and talking about America in terms of being a "melting pot" or "a salad bowl" i think that was it, well, i'm hoping it becomes more of a melting pot. I know i'm not black (although, me & Julie both wish we were, especially today! :p) but it honestly put a lump in my throat seeing their reactions to Obama's speech, the 1st African American Black US President, THIS IS HISTORY IN THE MAKING! quite glad something like this has occurred in my lifetime!
- "The Culmination of the Civil Rights movement"
Thankfully, now there's no longer a divided government so therefore, there will hopefully be a much smoother transfer in power, as finally Congress will have a president they will be willing to fully cooperate with!
Hmm, lots of thoughts, got my American Politics exam tomorrow, after my Social Influence exam, got 4 cans of KICK! & i shall hopefully get everything done with a few hours sleep too!
Treated myself to some Cherry Bakewell's today out scumerfield, Mr Kiplings obviously, none of this "own brand" pish!
Realised today that i really don't give a fuck what people think, click the 'delete' button and "byeee" end of. I am who i am eh? Bit like marmite i suppose, you either love me or you hate me! Haha, and i LOVE marmite! (remember the marmite flavoured crisps? mmmm) I don't smell like marmite however, at least i hope not hahaha!
I'd like to think i smell of 'Insolence' (the perfume, although quite fitting don't you think? ;)) Neil commented on it last night saying how nice it was, and how that's how he knew it was me last night, the fact i was jumping about singing and how i smelt haha!
Met Bryan last night! Weird, considering i've been speaking to him every day for what feels like forever, didn't feel like he was a stranger at all! I don't know if he reads this haha, hope not. Hope i meet him a lot more, seems like someone i'd enjoy hanging out with, unlike Napier - what an absolute PRICK! Haha joking, he's alright, got pretty good patter but, must say i don't like the fact he has the ability to rip me to shreds in about 0.2 seconds haha. Good pair of boys though, good addition to my wee group of friends.
Aye last night, ARCHITECTS & MIS SIGS! Wowowoweeewaaah!
:D
Misery Signals were actually epic, and i'm only using that expression because none other fits as well! They opened with 'Set in Motion' (current favourite song!) and ended with The Year Summer Ended in June!!! Don't think anyone was expecting that, didn't even know they were allowed to play it! Amazing though, perfect set.
Architects, ahhhhh, i'd love to see them in a bigger venue! They never have enough people jumping about going nuts, maybe one day Glasgow will pull out the big guns for them, like they deserve, although pretty sure Kud accounted for like 15 folk with how mental he was going :p! "GIT YER TAPS AFF" "She said it, nane o' that gay shit man, am no gay" Ahahaha! EARLY GRAVE was amaaaaazing
"The choices I've made, will lead me, to an early. FUCKING. GRAAAAAAAVE!" *flicks fringe & waves arms*
Stressed, it's 9pm and i've still a good 3 topics to write out before i start revising, these energy drinks better hit me quick, unlike last time when they didn't kick in 'til i went to fucking bed!
Skins of THURSDAY! Wooooo!
Don't think I've anything more to say haha,
Peace.
Set in Motion
Our fears ring true
We're on a march towards the end
Cover my eyes
But I still hear the deafening drums of war
Onward every twisted spoke
Let's make history
Let's make history stop
When there's nothing left
We'll be fed our father's dreams
And I find every time I face this skyline
I picture it in ruins
It's not going to stop
Our fears ring true
We are numbered with the dead
When I finally come apart
Every piece will melt holes into the streets
Onward every twisted spoke
Let's make history
Let's make history stop
When there's nothing left
We'll be fed our father's dreams
We can't let it happen like this
Burn it down
Burn it to the fucking ground
It's not going to stop
x
We're on a march towards the end
Cover my eyes
But I still hear the deafening drums of war
Onward every twisted spoke
Let's make history
Let's make history stop
When there's nothing left
We'll be fed our father's dreams
And I find every time I face this skyline
I picture it in ruins
It's not going to stop
Our fears ring true
We are numbered with the dead
When I finally come apart
Every piece will melt holes into the streets
Onward every twisted spoke
Let's make history
Let's make history stop
When there's nothing left
We'll be fed our father's dreams
We can't let it happen like this
Burn it down
Burn it to the fucking ground
It's not going to stop
x
Saturday, 17 January 2009
Twilight
I know i deny it, but don't you ever just want to have your own someone you can just goof out with?
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